


After Dawn

by WeAllAreSherlocked



Category: Until Dawn (Video Game)
Genre: AU - Josh is rescued before he turns into a wendigo, Chris POV, Climbing Class, Like real slow, M/M, Mental Health Issues, No sexy time for now sorry, Slow Burn, maybe later - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-10-15
Updated: 2015-10-19
Packaged: 2018-04-26 13:07:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,992
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5005909
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WeAllAreSherlocked/pseuds/WeAllAreSherlocked
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Josh is rescued in the mines shortly after everyone else, hence not turning into a wendigo. Chris is there to help him heal, when everyone else turned their back on him for various reasons. He is there when Josh gets out of the clinic, when he wakes up crying at night, when he can't make the difference between nightmares and reality. But this situation starts to weigh upon Chris, who find himself missing his old friend.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Two weeks after dawn

**Author's Note:**

> Hello everyone! This is my first fic here, and my first fic at all since a loong time. The endgame goal here is Josh and Chris entering a love relationship, but it's going to take a while, believe me (sorry). I tried to stick with cannon, except for the part where Josh turns into a wendigo, but that didn't really happen right? So here is my take on what happens after the game, and especially the relationship bewteen all of them.
> 
> I should also add that English is not my native language, so sorry if you see mistakes! I don't have anyone proof reading me so bear with me please :)
> 
> I would really appreciate if you told me what you think of the story, I'd like feedback on my work :)

When they had been rescued at dawn after that night, there had been only one person missing. Chris hadn’t stopped thinking about it after the house had blown up and Sam and Mike had been lying in the snow. The helicopter had landed on the ground and taken them away from this nightmare, later on bringing them Matt and Jessica as well. He had been happy they were alive of course, but… where was Josh? Sam had told him they had found him in the mines, and that she had climbed her way back, leaving Mike and Josh alone. Already knowing the answer, he had turned to Mike, who had returned him a sorry look.

“I couldn’t do anything. The wendigo took him.”

Words had ringed in his ears, and the next hours had just been a blur. He didn’t remember much of what had happened afterwards, apart maybe from his desperate pleas for someone to go back in the mountain and save Josh.

******

The heart monitor brought him back to reality. The line was going up and down, beeping more quickly. Josh was having a nightmare again. Gently, he shook his arm to try and wake him up. His grip became firmer when Josh started shaking and mumbling in his sleep.

“Josh, hey bro… Come on, wake up…”

His gesture seemed to have no result, as Josh kept on shaking, more and more violently. Suddenly, he opened his eyes, crying. 

“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry, I couldn’t save you, please –“

“Josh, Josh, look at me, I’m here OK? It’s me, Chris, hey…”

He had to put his hands around his friend’s face to calm him down, waiting for the attack to stop. He was starting to get used to them; Josh had had several panic attacks like that since he had been rescued. Even so, it didn’t mean it didn’t break Chris’ heart every time it happened.

Slowly, Josh started to calm down, reality tearing down his nightmares. He stared at Chris with a blank look, probably trying to remember who he was, or to decide whether he was real or not. Chris waited patiently, as he usually did when this situation happened – which was every other day lately.

“Josh, it’s me. You remember me, right? Chris, your best pal.”

Sometimes Josh would smile, but Chris could see that he had no idea of where he was.

“We’re in the hospital. You’ve been there for two weeks now. Remember what happened?”  
They all had been received at the nearest hospital after they had been rescued in the mountains. It had taken more or less time to treat their wounds, especially for Jess who was alive God knew how. They had been questioned, lengthily, on what they had seen or thought to have seen. Of course, their story about cannibal monsters and flamethrower hunter hadn’t convinced many people, to say the least. Jess’ wounds had been closely examined, but Chris knew they could conclude it was due to a wild animal or some shit like that. He didn’t know if they had believed them, all he knew was that they had come back to save Josh and it was all that mattered.

About ten days after they had entered the hospital, they had been kicked out, on the pretext that they were physically fine now and that other people needed attention. So they had gone back home, with the number of a therapist in their pocket, and that was all. Josh though, had been transferred to a private clinic, to be treated more in depth. The fact that he was in a clinic and not a mental asylum right now was probably due to his parent’s wealth only. Just a look at him was enough to see that he was out of his mind.

Chris came everyday to visit him, and every day was more painful than the day before. Josh was staring at him now, trying to understand his question. His eyes were wide, and panic threatened to rise again. Whenever Chris asked about his memories, Josh would start freaking out again, so lately he tended to avoid asking that. But he couldn’t pretend nothing happened forever.

“We were attacked by these monsters in the mountains, remember? We were there on holidays and… and suddenly they were everywhere, trying to kill us. We got you back in the mines.”

Of course, it was more than a super simplified version of the facts. To be honest, Chris wasn’t sure he wanted to address the “prank” Josh had pulled on them. If everyone would just forget that, then it just would have been a terrible accident in the mountains, and life could go on afterwards. Sam had told him about Beth and Hannah as well… which probably explained why Josh was still alive and not ripped apart by the wendigo. He wasn’t too keen on talking about that either.

“I killed them, I did” Josh started crying again. 

As usual, Chris took his hand and tried comforting him. He talked quietly, slowly, producing a noise more than a meaning. Everything was going to be ok, they were fine now, nothing bad was going to happen anymore… Slowly, Josh relaxed, and he lulled him to sleep.

******

“Hey Sam!”

“Hey Chris! Man, you look awful, have you tried sleeping at night? It does wonders.”

He grinned at her, not bothering to answer. He was too busy thinking and worrying at night to sleep properly.

“So, how’s life?”

They sat down at a table with a coffee and a hot chocolate. The café was lively, and the winter sun warmed up the place quite nicely.

“Well, you know, getting through college. And you, anything new?”

Sam smiled gently when he avoided her question.

“Not really. I found a cat in the street the other day, and now I can’t get to give him away. I really don’t have time to take care of an animal but you’d understand if you saw him, he’s so tiny and adorable… ”

Chris laughed, knowing her love for animals, especially the ones that happened to be small and fluffy.

“I also heard Mike and Jess were talking about marriage… Apparently Mike proposed to her a few days ago.”

“Wow, really?”

He didn’t really imagine Mike being the marriage type. Or Jess, to be honest.

“Well, they’ve been through a lot and apparently it reinforced their relationship. Good to see some of us got something good out if it.”

There was no use asking what “it” was. They both painfully knew she was referring to that night at the lodge. With a tense smile, Chris checked his phone and drank a sip of his coffee.

“How is Josh?”

Chris raised his eyes to look at her, startled. How did she know he was looking after him? They hadn’t really spoken since that night, and it was even worse with the others from the group.

“Come on Chris, don’t look at me like I’m reading your mind. It’s not hard deducing you’d stay by his side, especially with the zombie face you’re putting on at the moment.”

He gave a forced laugh, and stirred his coffee mechanically.

“He’s… well, he’s recovering. They’re treating his wounds, so his body is getting better.”

Of course, they both heard what he hadn’t said – his mind was another story.

“Actually, I’m going to see him afterwards, if you want to join us…”

“I…” She looked at him painfully, searching for her words. “I don’t think I can do that, I’m sorry.” After a pause, she added: “You know, after Beth and Hannah disappeared, he would come and talk to me. About how he missed them, how he wished he hadn’t been drunk that night.”

Chris felt his heart clench at her words. They had had a great night together, just drinking and laughing like idiots. They had been celebrating the beginning of holidays or something like that. Way too much alcohol had been drunk and spilled that night, but man, they’d had fun. Until they had woken up with a hangover and Beth and Hannah had disappeared into the night.

“So I thought… I thought we had a connection. I thought I understood him, and that he was feeling better as time went by. And then he offered to go back to the lodge, all together, and I thought, maybe, everything would be fine… Except he hadn’t moved on at all.”

“You know he didn’t mean to hurt us… If these monsters hadn’t existed –“

“I know. “It was just a prank”. Another goddamn prank, to make us feel awful for laughing at Hannah. But the fact is, I didn’t laugh at her, Chris. Neither did you. We didn’t have anything to do in this, and though, we ended up having to do all these terrible things, especially you…”

“It’s not his fault, he was off his meds…”

“I know. What I’m trying to say, is that I thought I could help him, and I couldn’t. And now, I think Josh needs medical and mental help, not friends. Friends have done nothing good to him lately.”

Silence fell between them, allowing the words to sink in. Sam wasn’t wrong. Even himself, Josh’ so-called best friend, hadn’t seen any of it coming. They had talked a bit about his sisters, but usually Josh withdrew into himself, and Chris chose to let go. He hadn’t wanted to make him uncomfortable, or to push him too much, preferring to give him space. But in the end, he had given him so much space that Josh had drowned in his fantasies and decided to pull another “prank” in return. He should have seen it coming. He should have talked to him more, and not tried to ignore all of his problems, like he always had. 

Because, let’s be honest, Chris had known Josh’s mental problems for years. They had been friends since third grade, so when Josh started taking meds two years afterwards, he noticed a change. Josh was more tired, more agitated. It would have been normal for an 11 years old kid, if Chris hadn’t known him so well. Josh was life, Josh was happiness; he wasn’t anxiety and insomnia. But Chris hadn’t said anything. He was a shy kid, and even if their friendship was well-established, there were still limits.

He learnt the nature of his treatment a few years later, when he overheard Beth and Hannah talking about it in the kitchen. He was spending the night at their place, and had got out of Josh’s room to get water. The two girls were chatting together, when Hannah picked up a box of pills.

“Has he taken his meds tonight? I haven’t seen him do it.”

“Hmm, yeah, I think he did. Yeah, before dinner, he was with me.”

“Alright. You know, I wonder sometimes if it really works… Since he started taking them, he seems to have lost something…”

“I know what you mean. But depression cannot really be solved with a few pills. I’ve made researches; it’s good that he can still socialize at least. Apparently, it can get pretty dark…”

The word ‘depression’ etched on Chris’ mind. It sounded like a swear word, a word too big to concern a 15 years old boy. Heart beating, he left the spot where he was hiding to go back to Josh’s room. He didn’t get water that night, but that was the last of his concerns.

As time went by, it became natural for Josh to take his pills in front of Chris. It was no big deal, everyone had problems after all. Chris couldn’t make his move on girls, Josh was taking meds for his illness; so what. It was fine as it was, and as long as no one pronounced the dirty word – depression – it simply didn’t exist.

It was another story after Beth and Hannah disappeared though. Not only did Josh lose his sisters, but he also lost the two people looking after him, and making sure he was following his treatment. His sisters had always been there for him, replacing their always absent-parents. They were always off somewhere, shooting a new movie, or promoting an old one. Chris had seen them a couple of times; they had seemed to be nice people, but clearly not fit to raise three children. Beth and Hannah had thus raised Josh somehow, even though he was the oldest one of the three. They had been very close, caring for each other. With the two girls out of the picture, Josh had been left alone, and that’s when it had gone downhill. 

A few times when Chris had been spending time at Josh’s place, he had seen his friend space out; and the words “Have you taken your meds?” had come to his mind. He had always brushed them away though, it wasn’t his role to remind him that, and Josh was probably fine. 

Chris now realized just how wrong he had been all these years.

Sam was still looking at him, expecting him to answer something. Of course he understood what she meant, but the guilt was too strong for him to let go of Josh. Maybe it was too late, but it was worth trying.

“I understand. But I’m still going to see him. That’s what best friends are for, right?”

His lame try at a joke made a flash of pain appear on Sam’s face. She was close to Josh, or had been, and she definitely had been Hannah’s best friend. Chris was told that she had tried to stop the others from pranking the girl, but arrived too late and could only see her run in the night. He couldn’t blame her for wanting all this pain and guilt to stop.

“Alright, uh, I need to go. It was good to see you Sam. Take care.”

“Yeah, you too.”

He hugged her and left the café, with a bitter taste in his mouth.


	2. One month after Dawn

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Second chapter, we finally get to see Chris and Josh talking. Get ready for angst, starting from now (◕ ◡ ◕✿)

Chris waited in the corridor while the nurse was giving Josh his treatment. He checked his phone, going over his Facebook feed without paying much attention. Something caught his eye though; Jess had gone from “in a relationship” to “engaged”, and a couple of pictures of her and Mike were completing the announcement. How could he have missed that? They seemed happy on the pictures, of course, although her smile seemed to have lost something. She looked… it was hard to say, but something like less confident. Her smile was less bright, more shy. Which wasn’t really surprising after what she had been through. He liked the announcement and pictures, and got up as the nurse left the room.

“He’s all yours,” she said with a smile.

He nodded politely and entered the room. The staff knew him by now, since he had come almost every day for a month. They didn’t try to talk to him about Josh though, and he was thankful for that.

Inside the room, Josh was sitting on his bed, looking through the window. When Chris entered, he turned his eyes towards him and smiled. It was good day.

“Hey bro.”

“Hey. How are you feeling today?”

“Alright. I’ve seen worse.”

Josh grinned at him, and Chris felt glad that he could still make jokes, although they were pretty tasteless lately.

Josh’s state had improved over the past weeks, and even if the panic attacks were still there and violent, he had “lucid” moments, where the good old Josh was back. Chris felt so relieved for that, for he had feared to never see his friend again, only an empty shell drowned in darkness.

“I’ve seen Sam today, she says hi.”

“Oh. Well, hi Sam. How is she doing?”

“Good, good. She found a cat in the street and now she refuses to give it away. It’s taking most of her time though, so she’s been pretty busy.”

Josh nodded in silence. Chris wondered for a second if he should have kept his meeting with Sam secret, or talked about Sam at all. It only brought the fact that she hadn’t come to visit Josh; not that the others had. They all had various reasons for doing so, mostly being scared of Josh and not understanding him, Chris thought. 

Oddly enough, Matt had been the only one to show concern about him. He had come to Josh’s room when they were all in the hospital, when the young man was asleep. They had talked a bit in the corridor, Chris and him, about what had happened and why. After all, Matt and Emily had been completely kept apart from the prank, and barely knew about what Josh had had in mind. Chris explained the best he could, trying to tone down his friend’s responsibility in the case. Matt had seemed understanding, and didn’t judge Josh for what he had done. He told him how much he regretted the prank a year ago, how he wished he could go back and stop them. After a while, he had left with a pat on Chris’ shoulder, and never came back. He too, probably felt too guilty to confront Josh again.

“Don’t you have better things to do than coming here every day Cochise?”

“Come on man, what’s better than spending your day in a clinic? I even get to see hot nurses all the time.”

Josh grinned at him, shaking his head in fake despair. Chris knew that he was just making sure he didn’t feel obligated to come, but really he appreciated his presence. That was how Josh worked, always joking and pushing the others away, but deep down he needed people around him. Without a public, he didn’t need to put on an act, and was left alone with himself and his nightmares. 

Sitting down on the chair next to the bed, he took out his laptop from his bag and put it on his lap. 

“Wanna watch a movie?”

“Yeah sure.”

“I’ve got a classic, “Attack of the killer tomatoes”!”

Josh chuckled and let him plug his laptop to the TV on the wall and start the movie. Times like these had become their everyday life recently: Chris went to college, then came down to the clinic and spent the afternoon with Josh. If Josh was feeling good, they would watch a movie, chat, or just stay together for the sake of it, Chris having work to do quite often. If Josh wasn’t feeling good, well, he did what he could. When the curfew time rang, Chris would pack up his things and leave, only to come back the day after. This routine had become natural, and neither of the boys would imagine their life being different.

Shortly after the movie ended, a nursed entered the room to warn them that the curfew was close.

“Yeah, I’m leaving. Alright, tomorrow I’m finishing at 3 so I’ll be there earlier. If you need anything just text me beforehand and I’ll bring you stuff.” The nurse gave him a disapproving look. “See you man, take care.”

He grabbed his bag and patted his friend’s shoulder, squeezing it briefly. A smile and a nod and he was gone, for the day at least.

*******

The bell rang, finally allowing students to pack things up and leave the classroom. Chris reached out for his phone in his pocket and checked his texts. No news from Josh; he would improvise then. He left the building and stopped by a small supermarket to get sweets and a bottle of soda. Healthy diet, as usual.

While waiting for the bus that would take him to the clinic, he simply wrote “Omw” and sent it. There was no need to, really, since he had told Josh that he’d come, and he came everyday anyway, but you know. It just made him feel better to keep in touch with Josh as often as possible. To make up for the last year probably. Or it was maybe the fact that if he let go of Josh for too long, he might… He didn’t really know. Do something that he shouldn’t. Disappear. Chris was too scared to put words on it; it was just a thought nested in his mind, growing bigger at night.

He shook his head when the bus arrived, trying to push these gloomy thoughts away. Josh was going to be fine. The day before had been exactly that: fine. Even the last week had been good. It was just taking him time to heal.

It was half past three when Chris pushed the door of Josh’s room. He should have known something was wrong when he had heard screams in the corridor. But he had hoped that, maybe, it was coming from someone else’s room. Maybe…

Josh was on the ground, prostrated, yelling so loudly that his voice was already starting to crack. Several nurses were around him, trying to comfort him, to make him snap out of his nightmare. Chris froze as the words filled the room and his mind as the same time.

“NO NO NO NO! GET AWAY FROM ME! YOU’RE NOT REAL! YOU’RE NOT REAL! LEAVE ME ALONE!”

He was repeating the words like a mantra, again and again and again. Chris was helpless, petrified. Everything was supposed to be fine. Yesterday was fine, wasn’t it? Why wasn’t it fine today? Why was Josh still yelling; he had no reason to yell anymore. Why…

He almost fell when a nurse burst in the room, holding something in her hand. She shouted something like “Tie him on the bed” but he wasn’t sure; everything was a blur. Josh was taken to the bed, still shouting and trying to push them away, and tied with the straps attached to the bed. The nurse held a syringe in the air, and after making sure his arm wasn’t moving, plunged it in his vein. Josh kept on crying for a few seconds, then his voice broke and he fell asleep. 

The air in the room was tense, and the nurses exchanged worried looks. One of them seemed to finally notice his presence, and told him, gently but firmly: “You should go home.”

He stared at her, voiceless. The moment lasted, long enough to be uncomfortable; but before anyone could say anything else, Chris grabbed his bag lying on the floor, turned around and walked away. His pace fastened as he took another corridor, and by the time he reached the staircase he was running.

His mind was blank, refusing to work properly. This – whatever it was – shouldn’t have happened. Josh was taken care of, right? People were making sure he was taking his treatment now, right? Then why wasn’t he recovering? What if he was never going to recover? 

Too agitated to even consider taking the bus, he kept on running in the street, not making it too far before slowing down, out of breath. But he couldn’t stop; if he stopped he would break. He had to keep on moving, to go somewhere, not home, his mother was there, somewhere else…. Without even realizing it, he ended up in the park next to his place, only populated by a few joggers brave enough to do sports in the cold.

He collapsed on a bench and put his head in his hands. He hadn’t seen such a violent attack in three weeks now. Sure, sometimes Josh wasn’t feeling great, and was talking to his sisters before Chris entered the room, but he could deal with that. What had shaken him was probably the fact that he was expecting his friend to be fine since the day before had been good. The root of the problem was there he realized: he had started to think that Josh was recovering and that the panic attacks were behind. But what had really happened was more likely him being lucky enough to be there when Josh was fine. He didn’t talk about Josh with the nurses after all. How could he know if he was actually making progress? 

Someone from the staff had taken him apart on the third day after Josh had been transferred. They had warned him that the healing process would take time, and that sometimes it would be a bit difficult to stay by his side. He had brushed aside their advices, only feeling glad that Josh was alive.

Now, he had to admit it: he was scared. Not by Josh, but for Josh. He was terrified by the fact that even if Josh’s body was rescued, his mind had stayed in the mines. And that, he couldn’t deal with.

Night started to fall without him noticing. He felt his phone buzz in his pocket, snapping him out of his thoughts. His mother was asking him if he was having dinner with them. It was twenty six past five, his phone indicated him. Slowly, he sent her that he was coming back home. Uneasy and with a heavy heart, he made his way home.

His mother greeted him with a smile when he entered the house.

“Good evening sweetie. How was your day?”

“It was fine, you know, the usual.” He managed to smile back, fist clenching on his bag.

“And Josh? I should go pay him a visit this week-end, I don’t have work to do for once.”

Of course his mother knew Josh, they had been inseparable since third grade. He had spent so much time at theirs that Chris’ mother seemed to consider him like a part of the family. But she couldn’t see him like that. Not when he was screaming and locked up in his world. Just the thought made him panic. 

“No!” She looked at him, surprised, when he shouted his answer. “I mean, uh, he seems a bit tired at the moment. They’re trying a new treatment on him, and he sleeps a lot. It’d be a shame if you came and he was sleeping. Another time maybe.” The lie came easily to his lips, almost too easily. 

“Oh, alright. I guess you’re right, you always know what’s best for him. Are you alright Christopher? Dear, you look so pale!”

“Yeah I’m good, don’t worry. It’s the cold, I may be getting sick. I’m gonna check on that, call me when dinner’s ready.”

His mother shot him a worried look but nodded, letting him leave. Her last remark had been like a punch in his stomach. Like hell he knew what was best for Josh. He had deluded himself into thinking that Josh was recovering and they could be best friends for ever like before.

In his room, he slumped on his bed, his feet dangling in the air at the edge. What if Josh never recovered? Would he keep going to visit him every day? Would he grow tired of it, and leave him like everyone else? Maybe Sam was right. Maybe he was no good to Josh.

He suddenly felt disgusting. Was he already giving up? Just because Josh had had a panic attack and he happened to see it, everything was over? Come on, Josh was ill, and that was a fact. Chris couldn’t pretend nothing happened forever. He smiled bitterly remembering that he had had the same thought about Josh. Who was the most blind in the end? Who refused to face up to the truth? He was pathetic. He didn’t deserve to be Josh’s friend.

When his mother came to knock on his door an hour later, she found him prostrated in bed, phone stuck to his face.

“Oh my, you are sick! Have you taken medicine?”

She sat on the bed and put her hand on his forehead.

“You’re a bit warm. Dinner’s ready; you should eat, it would make you feel better.”

“I’m not hungry.”

“Sweetie… Did something happen today?”

“No, I told you, it’s the weather.”

“Hmm…” She rubbed his head gently, in silence. Chris kept his eyes locked with the screen of his phone.

With a sigh, she left the room and came back with a glass of water and a pill. 

“Just some Paracetamol, if you’re not feeling better tomorrow you’ll have to go and see the doctor alright?”

Chris grumbled an answer but made no sign of moving. With another sigh, she got up and made her way to the door.

“Love you.”

She closed the door and left Chris alone. He was genuinely exhausted. His internal debates had left him tired and depressed. He was now scrolling his Tweeter feed, without paying attention. His mind kept on reminding him of Josh, and he really wanted to stop thinking about him. The text icon was shining more and more every time he went back to his home screen. Finally giving in with a frustrated groan, he opened Josh’s texts. “Omw” was left alone, and made him hesitate whether to send something or not. He knew he wouldn’t be able to sleep if he didn’t send something anyway, so he gathered his courage and sent a simple “Good night Josh”.

It wasn’t much, just a banality, but his heart was beating fast when he hit the “send” button. He stared at the screen after that, waiting for an answer. Josh always replied to his texts; he had his phone next to him and didn’t receive much on it anyway, so he knew that it was from Chris when he received a text (that’s what he had told him once). If he wasn’t answering, it meant that he couldn’t answer. Because he was asleep, or… he had an attack. Or he was still restrained. _Answer me, man. Please._ Chris felt tears surge as the screen remained desperately still. He waited, and waited, but nothing came. Eventually, he put his phone down, tears streaming down his face. 

He closed his eyes, and as he fell asleep, one thought kept on swirling in his mind: _Tell me he’s sleeping…_


End file.
